Homework Sure Has Changed

Last night Shelby was sitting on the couch doing her homework.  I figured I'd take a peek at her folders to see whether she was writing notes to friends or actually trying to make something of herself.  Boy, homework sure has changed since I went to school! 

One of her Physics worksheets was to measure the quadratic equation for models of stress (That alone is enough to make me just crumple the paper and throw it away.  Maybe that's why I never took Physics.)

Scenario:
I had a girlfriend in high school.  This made me happy.  I thought that if I had more than one girlfriend, I would be more happy.  I did an experiment.  I kept adding girlfriends and measuring my stress level.

Directions:
Graph the girlfriends vs stress
Find quadratic equation for this situation
Find the predicted stress using the quadratic model.
Graph the quadratic equation.
Explain why the amount of stress went down after five girlfriends.

First of all, what kind of scenario is that??? When I had worksheets in school, it was to measure the time and distance of trains leaving the station.  It wasn't to experiment how stressed I'd be in a polygamous relationship.

Second off, what exactly is a quadratic equation and at what point in time would I apply it to my life?

Finally, whoever in the world thinks that the amount of stress would go down after five girlfriends deserves the wrath of all of them.