First of all, let me apologize for how odd and out-there this post may seem. I don't want to go into detail and disclose full information so I'm sure it won't make sense to anyone but me. And that's what I need right now, somewhere to just let my thoughts come out. Maybe if I do, I'll be able to get some clarity for myself and make sense of what's going on. So please forgive for the randomness...
What do you do when your world comes crashing down? When you feel like a turn of events has happened that is forever going to change your life and how you feel about someone? When in your heart, you know that you should forgive but not sure that you can forget?
What do you do when you feel like you haven't been completely in tune with God but you turn to Him begging and pleading, begging and pleading for some clarity as to what's going on and for spiritual help and guidance through it all? Knowing that God is listening but feeling like you're not worthy of it because you don't ask like you should before something like this happens.
Crying till you're completely exhausted, then crying some more. A million thoughts running through your head. Wanting it to be a bad dream and just wake up from the nightmare. Torn between what to do. Screaming at the top of your lungs, wondering why. Knowing that it's not the end of the world and worse things have happened to others, but also knowing that it hurts so bad that it tears at your very being. Knowing that one simple chain of events effects more than one person and will alter your very life path. Loving someone so much, yet hating them equally at the same time. Wondering what to do and what will happen next.
What do you do when your world comes crashing down?